Cold Cliches

Everything started with a late night stroll In the bitter cold Of fall. We talked We laughed Till midnight or more We never knew we were starting a war. I felt every cliche thing I wrote your last name Page after page Not realizing I was barring My own cage. I’d wait on a phonecall A text Night after night Sometimes I’d get one But every night Turned into might. Everyone says love is give and take No one tells of the nasty bitter ache You can love with all your heart and bone But you can be left in the dark Alone. You can love with all your heart and bone But you and him have just outgrown Lo-- We did EVER cliche thing You gave me a ring I gave you ALL of me You got down on one knee But, Now I know that’s not a fair trade. I sit here I watch you leave. As I stayed. You walked away. And I prayed. As you packed up everything. I begged, “Can’t you see what I can bring?!” And now I’m left with a ring. I gave you everything I poured out all of me The good The bad The ugly. “I’m not perfect,” I cried “I know we fight all the time But I want to be your bride, And live life by your side! I know that is cliche, But please, Please stay” But in your car you climbed You didn’t hear my pleas The man who got down on one knee, He took everything of me. I always wondered why smitten and smite Seemed so similar Because your knight Can leave you In the night With nothing more But empty promises And a ring.

Feelin down? Not anymore! (Hopefully)

 

       So if I'm going to be completely honest with you all, I have been in a kind of depressional rut for a while now....but I have officially found the cure. You ready for this shit???????????????????

 

Popcorn.

Coca-Cola.

(I was going to just put "Coke" but I didn't want you guys to get the wrong impression)

1 fuzzy blankey.

Queen Latifah.

 

       I sat down on my couch last night feeling horrible and not wanting to do a god damned thing. I was questioning if I was smart enough to be in college, or if I really wanted to be an English teacher? Was I wasting my life on something I would eventually hate doing...? And then I turned on Netflix, and it told me "Hey Kenzie, you should watch Last Holiday!" ...Well my Netflix didn't actually talk to me, it just had it on the "Top Ten for Kenzie" list. But still. I clicked on the movie and sat down with everything listed above....and my outlook changed in a matter of one hour and 27 minutes later.

     In the movie, Queen Latifah is a woman who is told that she only has three more weeks to live, so she quits her job and basically says fuck it to everything. Everything but her dreams. She takes all her money out of the bank and goes to her dream city, staying in her dream hotel, skiing, cooking with professional chefs...the movie is just so uplifting. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's horridly cliché but I fell in love!

    Life really is about perspective. You can wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and smirk at yourself and whisper "Damn right girl, you fiiine!" Or you can choose to wake up and dread every face that you see that day....You only get one chance in this world. LIVE IT.

     And I'm NOT saying you should get up and take all the money of your accounts and travel the world and hope everything goes your way, and you will end up happy and fall in love with a hot black man. No. Absolutely not. what I'm saying is that...whenever you feel like a pile of shit...just remember that you really do only have one life to live, and it's up to you on how you live it.

   So fellow teenage or middle aged women, every time you are feeling down, pop in this movie and let it soak in. Because I guarantee you will leave your house with a little pep in your step!

 

 

             That's all for now,

Kenzie Nagel   

                            To Kiss Or Not To Kiss
                             That is the Question

You said,
I like you enough not to kiss you.
I told you,
I liked you enough to kiss you.
And for some time,
We carried on like that.

We both agreed we wish we could just be friends,
So talking would just come easy,
So we could lead each other to better things,
Things we knew the other thought was unattainable.

But you've always been a sputtering printer,
Only reliable for a "sometimes,"
And I've always been a blinking typewriter,
So hopeful and old fashioned,
Waiting for an "always" that never stayed.

You;
Always pulling on my keys,
But it was never quite me....
You like me enough not to kiss me,
I like you enough to have kissed you...
Far longer than I should have.

It was the most beautiful words to a tragedy I have ever written,
Ever spoken,
Ever read.

We are broken love,
So close,
To writing each other's happy endings,
Instead of living life pretending.

Every time he steps out that door,

I know he won't be back for two weeks or more,

And my life,

My life walks out behind him.



 

To The Past For Not Knowing

And The Now For Being Smart

 

 

 

Fake Bitches

With Fake Lives

Having Fake Conversations

The Sad Thing Is

Eventually Everyone Around You

Notices That You Are

One Of Those People

And Your Fake Façade

Becomes Real

And No One Is Left

Caring How You Feel

I'm Not Sorry.



Hellway--

I mean Subway;

Eat Fresh!

 

 

 

                       Okay guys! Let me give you a little insight onto what we sandwich artists have to deal with on a daily, or in my case, nightly basis.
  Now any fast food joint, or food joint in general will always have those common reoccurring customer personalities that they wish would just go fall in a well. Here are a few commons that I see:

    First of all, we have those sadistic assholes who come in with 8 subs written down on a piece of paper, and slowly read the order like it's a question. For instance: Man holding white paper full of sub ingredients, "She wants....uhh....white bread? It's going to be a Melt....I don't know if she wants it toasted she didn't tell me....   uhmm, ya know what? Just toast it? I think? What kind of cheese normally goes on it? Do you know?" FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD MAN JUST ORDER THE GAWD DAMNED SANDWICH! IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT GOES ON IT, GO HOME I HAVE A MILLION OTHER MOUTHS TO FEED.

     The second type of customer we have is the "I want four and half cucumbers, three tomatoes cut in triangles, and I want the mustard spelling my name on top of the cheese in cursive." Lady!! I'm not Picasso and I'm sure as hell not your servant. If you want the sub THIS specific, you go home, in your own kitchen, and make it yourself.

        The third type of customer we have on a consistent basis are the price arguers. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? MY SUB WAS $6.57?!? THAT'S NOT RIGHT. REDO IT.....IT'S STILL SIX DOLLARS?!? I WANT JUST THE SIX INCH THEN!" Do ya now? You want a six inch huh? Well maybe you should have READ the prices before you bought the gawd damned sub! How old are you, 50? Do you go into the doctor and complain about the price of your arthritis meds and demand only half a prescription bottle of them??? I DOUBT IT.
    Last but not least we have the moochers. The guys or gals that are in line that think they can flirt there way into an extra couple pieces of bacon, or some cheddar cheese. If YOU are one of these people, just.....just stop. Please. You're embarrassing yourself. You think you can just walk in and twinkle your eyes across the counter, flash a smile, and say "How's your day been darlin?" and I'm going to willingly hand over extras? Don't be so full of yourself. If you happen to find a weakling somewhere, congratulations! Don't do it again.
             But its not just these sunshiny cookie cutter customers that make my job so exciting! It's the never ending list that I have to repeat day after day after day after day! Wash the dishes, make the veggies, make the meats, clean the counters, clean the bathrooms, change the garbage bags, sweep the floor, mop the floor, do more dishes, make more veggies, bake more bread.....that's what I do. Over and over and over and over and over again.
           So that's my life in a nutshell.
      I have to get to studying for this Human Biology Exam before I fail this one too!! ...........but I have to finish the new episodes of Walking Dead first....of course.

                                                             -Kenzie Nagel

Truth Is College Sucks.

Sorry Kids.

 

 

 

                       You're lonely, you're sad, you're poor, you're scared, you're overwhelmed, you're tired, and you just want to go home. But guess what? You can't. Why? Because you're paying thousands of thousands of dollars to go to this one school to get taught by teachers who don't give a shit, to eventually, four years down the road (hopefully) get a job that somehow relates to your major.

        So! For you High Schoolers out there that "can't wait" to go to college and get away from your parents strict ruling, or make new friends, or simply be your own boss. Shut up. Right now. You have no idea what you're talking about. Do you realize that the moment you step out of your parents house on moving day to your campus or possibly a house you leased out, you are no longer LIVING with them? That the second your foot leaves that front door, you are never going to officially live there anymore. You are no longer a child. From here on out, you can only go forward-and forward means you can't just go and sleep in your bed and expect your parents to make Sunday breakfast and coddle you like you're a sixteen year old again. Yes, they will always be your parents, and yes they will take care of you when you need it most....but no one wants to be a 28 year old living in their parents basement. From this first year of college, you finally understand that in a few short years you're going to be living in your own house, living your own life, with your husband or your boyfriend, and possibly a dog or maybe even kids. But in none of that are your parents. Or your siblings. Or your family. Your college might be five hours away now, but what if your first job is two states away? It just never dawned on me before now that I'm no longer my parent's child; but rather their grown adult. and I hope that you understand this huge rant, and that you spend and appreciate every second you have with everyone in your family. Even if you can't stand your brothers, or your hot-headed mother, or your sister who always takes your clothes because she thinks they're cool....just....cherish the fact that you ARE a child.

        As for the college schooling itself, well, let's just say you need to have your priorities straight. The teachers don't actually teach you, they guide you down the right path (or what you hope is the right path) and you have to study the rest of it on your own. Or one of your Profs can be like my first Human Bio Professor. He can show you 4 weeks worth of PowerPoints and hundreds of definitions, and then by the time the first exam comes out, not one of those definitions or slides from those god damn powerpoints is on the test. Everything is out of the book. *****Tip: Ask around about your Professors to see what their teaching styles are, or at least how they grade, or what they're tests are like***** Not only do you have all these unknowns about teachers and the campus and dorms and what not, you now have absolutely no one to be mad at you if you skip a class or fail a course. BUT, you PAY for your classes and if you fail them or don't go you are wasting your own money. Talk about a giant shithole of shit.

          Now. Some of you might be able to cross off the "lonely" problem. Especially if you live in the dorms. But me? I live in a house that my boyfriend and I leased out (because it was basically the same price for a house, than a tiny dorm shared with another girl and no boyfriend alone time.) Don't get me wrong, I love having my own house, and my own rules, and my own decorating style, and not being limited by my parent's rules. I can walk around naked all day, study naked, shower naked, cook naked, watch tv naked, crochet naked. Not that I actually do all those thing NAKED, I just wanted to show you the amount of freedom I have. Because it's my house. BUT. (There's always a but.) My boyfriend is only home about one weekend every two weeks. (Shoot myself in the face.) What do I do with all my spare time? Sleep. Work. Homework. Movies. Eat. EAT A LOT. Sing obscenely loud and off key. Talk to my few remaining stuff animals. Clean every now and again. Cry in the bathtub. Reread the Hunger Games series a million times. And purposely cut my pinkie finger off. That is how unbelievably lonely and bored out of my freaking mind, I am. So if any of you out there are reading this and somehow go to Bemidji State University, and your first name does not start with a "J" and end with a "B" for the love of Gawd, come be my friend.

         That's all I have time for today folks! I have to scurry on over to my Poetry class!

                               Over and Out,

                            Kenzie Nagel